I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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