just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
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