never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
