NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
