nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
Randomize
