Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
