I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
Randomize
