She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
he kept telling me that god made these magical balloons called condoms
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
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