We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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