well you can't waste a boner
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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