Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize