I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
