You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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