I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
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Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
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So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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