she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
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