dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
Randomize
