I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
Randomize
