I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
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