I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Randomize
