its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
