only if we run a train.
done.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I checked into jail on foursquare
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Randomize
