How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
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I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
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