I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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