rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
