I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Alive.
So much puke
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
Randomize
