Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.