I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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