I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
well I can't set my house on fire every night
so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No. Nooooo. No way. She looked like Amanda Bynes. The recent one not the one from All That.
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