"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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