How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
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