I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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