I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
