uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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