My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
