This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
