It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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