kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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