Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
Randomize
