Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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