I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
Randomize
