Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
