You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"