when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
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