Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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