He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
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I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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