you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
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