why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
So here I am, sexting at work.
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