i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Randomize
