I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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