i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
I came so hard my ears popped.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
