Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
We did face masks and fucked...he really isn't gay, what they say about europeans is just true
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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