just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
