And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
