I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
