I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
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