ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Your doorknob is in my back seat, in case you were looking for it.
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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