my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
