i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize