like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I need to wash the frat house off of me
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
