the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Randomize
