Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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