I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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